doubledollar | IC INBOX

i fuckedu p

i could jump to so many conclusions rn
but im not
im gonna give you a whole 10 mins to explain yourself instead of assuming you crashed angelica and are now lost somewhere in the woods

[ he jumped to a conclusion anyway ]

what the fuck blondie
none of that happened
are you okay
who hurt you

[ what if he avoids the subject for a moment while vash wile e. coyote's himself into a proverbial wall ]

dont worry about it

whats up

[ please forget he said anything ]

[ holy shit put that icon away ]

i am officially worried about it holy fuck

i said the wrong thing to kni chill your tits

[ never in my life ]

sometimes you drive across a desert and hit your wheel in the wrong sand dune and suddenly youre not sure where youve ended up

anyway thats neither here nor there, what happened, fr

[ you need 20ccs of chill stat my guy ]

i
what happened to you do you want to talk about it

he figured somethin out and i made a joke and now he's like
staring at me like i ate a puppy

[ theres so much chill here it's at zules' bar and it's during a show so there's no orders coming in now he's having a great time ]

its fine we were fine you were mad about angelica being broken for a bit but i helped pay to fix her after someone rescued us in their truck dw abt it

anyway ah i see
can i ask what the joke was? he's sensitive, but usually he just gets grumpy over things he doesn't like or doesnt understand
if you actually hurt his feelings, it must have been something he takes pretty seriously

[ Vash the Stampede couldn't spell the word chill if somebody shot it into his ass with numbered bullets to help him figure out which direction to start from ]

and this is why you aren't allowed to drive my bike
how are you xx0 number of years old and you can't drive
i'm between the ages of 1x and 2x and i can fuckin drive

i
well
he tried hard pretzels and like em okay but then mentioned something about farms, so i brought up that there aren't farms back home, and said something about bugs and tomas being the only source of non-Plant protein you get
and the penny dropped
i think
on the fact that meat comes from
you know
stuff

i might've mentioned Brad as being a sometimes food

[ just because its true doesnt mean you need to say it. ]

I DON'T knOW okay ive TRIED and ive had some practice taking turns with you to get through bad bouts of long-distance travel i just dont have the balance or constitution or something i just really dont get it!!!!
i dont need to drive anyway I HAVE BRAD

which

speaking

of brad

okay

okay i see exactly what you did wrong and suggesting that a friend could be food is definitely step one to upsetting anyone
i would never eat brad,,,,,,????? oh my god
oh god wait hes texting me now

[ it is Wolfwood's duty in life to say it
the purpose of the Woowoo, if you woowoould ]

how can you do complicated math in your brain to anticipate a trajectory so you don't get shot
but you can't drive
what the fuck is wrong with you have you talked to the manufacturer

also look
look
Brad is made of food
if something were to happen to the garden we could eat Brad
Brad is a sometimes food!!

oh fuck what is he saying

there is no manufacturer, wolfwood, i was born in a tube
i dont have any of the solutions im just doing my best with what i was given ok
if 'dodge bullets, can't drive' were my basic abilities than that's it

and listen i get it, animals are meat
just like bugs are food just as much as a chicken or a fish is
but
theyre living things, and you know
as much as i love a hamburger, someone like kni is having difficulty seeing a living creature as a meal
which like, given that we're plants who humans basically used for food and resources, it makes sense
he yelled at me for trying to go fishing the other day because the cricket on my hook looked scared.

he's asking if we're gonna eat brad

you had to be born from something
or did you just manifest to be hatched
you're old enough you could learn a goddamn trade
or how to drive

crickets don't
look i feel animal feelings and i don't think crickets can
exist on that much of a wavelength
i haven't really focused on one so i don't have complete data on that
but it's different
right?
it is different
isn't it

[ hm. crisis of faith, your name is nicholas ]

we don't have to eat Brad right now it's just if things go bad we could!
he keeps giving me the stinkeye from a few feet away
he asked me if the rotisserie chickens were scared
what do i do

like.......... do you want an actual answer or
are you just being your usual you
and listen i know how to do plenty of things
im a great cook, i can build basic structures with my bare hands, i know how to carve and make clothing...
why do i need to know how to drive

and look idk zazie the beast was a bug and they could feel things? im pretty sure
even if they were a little different than most beings ive ever met
maybe we just cant tell or something

anyway
i cant say for sure

we dont have to eat brad right now no but
i think
i think we need to get the cottage crew together and have a bit of a chat
eating animals is something that seriously makes the kid uncomfortable, so...

maybe we should discuss a vegetable, fruit, and animal by-product diet only while on the farm.
eating meat at restaurants out in town is probably fine but

because what if i get tired and wanna have a little sleep
i don't get to nap while we're drivin cause you can't
also yeah i'm kind of curious i realized i don't really know where Plants come from
or how we got more
could we get more

Zazie was a couple thousands bugs in a trenchcoat let's be real
a hivemind is a different ballgame than a solitary cricket
I think

[ on one hand, it's weird for Vash to make such an--all or nothing decision, and normally Wolfwood would like, sarcastically praise him for taking a hard stance on something, but this time it's kind of inconvenient
because Wolfwood likes easily available steak
and now he has to confront within himself whether or not his enjoyment of steak outweighs Kni's general happiness and welfare
on one hand, yes
on the other, less selfish and mean hand
hnnn ]

you don't think he'll take up for everythin in the cycle of life havin' it's place an the concept of predator and prey, huh

then we stop at the side of the road, open up your little pocket space, stick angelica inside and have a little nap, ez

and listen im not actually a plant engineer, i dont know how making more goes. that technology got lost with the ships that crashed
but i do know independents are born when a plant goes through a 'final run', if you... know what that... is...

[ ....ah hes gonna drop another truth on wolfwood soon. time to buckle up. ]

i remember an argument i had with him when we were both kids
it was about spiders and butterflies
and how i wanted to save the butterflies from the spider's webs
but kni argued that without the butterflies, spiders would starve

so his easy solution was to kill the spiders

...this kni is from a different timeline from me
hes from yours im pretty sure
so
there's something just a little
different
about him
and i think in this instance, he's absolutely the type who will refuse to hurt animals.
even if animals prey on each other, too.

but we stop traveling so that doesn't accomplish my goal of continuous movement!!

and uh
kind of, yeah
final run is when it's
over
right
the plant disappears because it's used up its energy

[ used up and disappear are such gentle words
probably ones taught to Wolfwood as a child ]

... yeah, i think the kid would be upset if a spider got killed
i dunno if he has a valuation system on things yet
like he does in my future

so what do we do
he keeps making these weird lil huffs everytime i look at a package in the meat aisle
and won't really look at me
i lost him for a few minutes earlier so he's been my little shadow ever since
you got chicken breasts on the list mr stampede

oh he's grabbin my jacket
since i wasnt doin anythin about the huffs

taking breaks is important wolfwood

also yeah thats right
their bodies, hair, and feathers all slowly turn black and they decay rapidly, leaving not much behind but some decayed biomass

...that's how independents are born
sometimes, in that wreckage of the plant's final moments, there'll. just be a human looking child. there was another, on the ship me and kni were born on. before us.

[ rough to speak about, but. he did tell wolfwood he'd be more honest with him. ]

...oh
oh no, he's reacting that bad already...
uh
uhm
i was gonna use the chicken to make some chicken soup for dinner, but uh
grab some tofu instead? there should be some meat substitutes, made from soy or seitan down in the vegetarian aisle.

you can ask one of the working people there where it is, there's a bunch of different stuff there.
ive actually been buying almond milk there for some recipes because it doesn't need to be kept cold...

getting where i want to be is more important than breaks vash

and that's, uh
a little
okay then

[ seems unkind to bioengineer a species that dies violently and painfully and apparently lays an egg while it's doing so ]

yeah? what happened to the other independent

[ ... does he want to know
knives had never mentioned any other Plant or Independent but clearly if there'd been another one
he'd have included them in his plans for Paradise, right
... maybe Wolfwood doesn't want to know
maybe he owes it to Kni to know ]

tofu
what is tofu where should i be lookin at
vegetarian
that's a word, okay let me see if they've got an aisle full of that
almond milk, huh
i thought it tasted funny but i've also eaten spoiled milk before so
i wasn't gonna complain

to explain a litter clearer, independents arent made on purpose
theyre a crazy rare phenomenon that even the engineers dont understand, they cant control us being born, and having one show up is sort of a freak accident, i guess

as for the other one, well
her name was Tesla.
she was born 50 years before kni and i
and she was... experimented on. me and kni found a file full of videos and information about the details of what they did to her when we were kids.

[ context to why kni was so fucked up about humans and why he freaked out when you told him about how YOU were experimented on, bud. ]

its a hard to miss aisle, its near the end of where the veggies are kept--i know we dont go down that one often cause we grow our own but it's a whole shelf of stuff

just pick up whatever's a good price
tofu tastes fine, i like it
and soy and almond milk are fine so long as you cook with them properly.
not that i think kni will be bothered with us drinking regular milk...

... that's just like humanity, ain't it
to make something they don't fully understand
and have it grow beyond their initial spec
at least it's a happy accident
even if you are a freak

[ is Wolfwood saying he's happy to have met Vash? the rumor come out and then there's the next bit and
um ]

... i'm doubtin you want to get into it
but i'm guessing it's less
record how fast she solved the puzzle and more
what happened to me
in terms of activity.

[ that's a lot of context.

wolfwood, once again, almost feels guilty. he might give Kni a little sideye where they're orbiting around each other. ]

it's the damnedest thing
i keep lookin away to read some of these packages to figure out what the hell you got me buyin
and stuff keeps manifesting in my basket
like magic

a happy accident, huh

[ why does that make his heart beat faster
why does that make him smile, so stupidly, down at his phone?
he feels it, in his chest. wolfwood just said he was happy, didn't he? ]

...I don't want to get into details, but. You've pretty much hit the nail on the head.
we found her. i can't even say 'what's left of her,' because despite the fact that she was in bits and pieces in several different tanks, i
i think she was still alive

[ which was the worst part. she was still alive, and torn to pieces. maybe she wasn't conscious anymore, but... ]

Like magic, huh.
Well.
Buy it.
The fact that he's showing any interest at all in eating...
There's hope for him, yet.

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[7/20][text] username; ndwolfwood

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