doubledollar | IC INBOX

I'm... I ought to be asking you that question. [Sure Takame sounded tired as all hells, but he at least still had both his arms.]

I wanted to take the time to apologize properly. About your arm. Regardless of whether it was a fake arm or not, it was still my fault that you lost it.

[ ...it's really weird
having people worry about him
not... weird in a bad way
just weird
it's unexpected
usually when he risks his life for others
something snowballs out of control
and he ends up making a mess of it
so having someone... sincerely being concerned
it's making his brain feel weird
you can hear the heavy, quiet pause from vash's side
no, even the look on his face becomes odd
before he turns to look at the camera of his phone again
a smile moving over his face.

~~it doesn't quite reach his eyes.~~ ]

You're really taking it hard on yourself, aren't you.
Seeing someone get hurt, due to everything that happened? You're blaming yourself, even if it wasn't... really you who took it, yanno.

[Something about that smile he gave made Takame feel... discomfort. Like something was off, though he couldn't quite place his finger on what. He was never good at reading others' emotions, save for sniffing out a liar.

He could only assume this feeling welling in his chest was guilt. It made sense. He was worried about this man who threw himself into so much danger for people he only somewhat knew.]

I must bear some responsibility. It was a facet of myself that took your arm and it was my needing the assistance that led you to him in the first place.

I have a set of questions for you, Takame.
Don't worry! They're not hard questions, a simple yes and no will do.

[ he points at the camera with his good hand, finger wiggling as he moves to sit at the little table in his cottage. ]

Question one!
Did you throw yourself into that weird shadowy gate on purpose!

Question two!
Was it you who held the sword against your friends in combat when they arrived to save you?

Question three!
Did you command that shadowy facet, and did you align yourself in the act of breaking my limb to teach me a lesson?

Question four!
In the end, was it you who took the burdens of the darkness you've been holding in your heart, and ended up protecting everyone who came to save you?

[ when he finishes, he smiles again. This time, the smile does seem a bit more sincere. ]

Ah...

[He didn't expect a questionnaire here. What he did expect was a thinly veiled lecture. Something that made him begin fidget with his bangs awkwardly. Like he knew he'd done something wrong.

He answered each question one by one. Yes or no's would have sufficed, but he was used to needing to explain himself.]

Well, n-no. I volunteered for the mission, however I sincerely doubt any of us knew we'd be pulled in by shadows. That part was not intentional.

It... It was an aspect of me, a man who embodied my darkest thoughts and desires but... strictly speaking, no. I was too injured to wield my weapon at all.

I gave no such order for that shadow of myself to cut your arm off. [The one thing answered with absolute certainty.]

... And I-I did accept that facet of myself to protect you and the others.

[More awkward shuffling.]

I believe I see your point...

[ sorry, takame. he's absolutely not the type to give someone a lecture--it isn't in his heart, and honestly, he'd probably get about two sentences in to scolding someone before he started to feel bad and decided to quit.

no, this method was far more his style. gently reminding people that they didn't have to burden themselves with everything, and that sometimes things happened in an unfortunate way--but the weight wasn't theirs to take, fully.

Vash is full-on smiling again, a little light returned to his eyes. ]

Hehe.

It was a hard situation, yanno? I volunteered for the mission too, so, if we're honest for a second--our roles could have been reversed, here, if I'd been unlucky enough to be grabbed.

Tell me, if I was the one who was at the bottom of that chasm, in a void. And a shadow of me broke off one of your horns...

Would you blame me?

[It may not be in Vash's style to lecture, but Takame still felt like that's what was happening with a look knowing he was in the wrong. He shook his head.]

No. Of course I wouldn't.

Bing-bong.

So there we go.

I don't feel even 1% mad at you for the fact that my arm got broken.
And if I'm honest with you, it's not the first time I've gotten it busted up because I got into a fight I. Er. Wasn't really prepared for.

I'm sorry, for worrying you. I'm sure it was scary in the moment. ... I can't imagine how you felt, either.

... [Despite being the one getting the lecture, Takame couldn't help but turn it back around on Vash. The older brother in him, perhaps.]

It isn't an injury you should take so lightly, Vash. [What a strange, kind, worrisome man Vash was.]

You've nothing to apologize for. I am simply relieved that you are still alright. You should rest. [A long pause.]

... Both of us should. Still, if there is anything you need of me, anything I can do to make it up to you when I've recovered please let me know.

[ Turning it around on him was probably the right action? It clearly hits a cord, as his facial features twinge again. His hand moving down to grip where loose wires and broken, mangled metal parts used to attach the top half of it to the bottom half.

His eyes close as he tips his head down. ]

I'm pretty much being forced to stay at my farm right now, so. But...

...You're right, of course. Of course you're right. I'm sorry.
I lost it, so long ago, that I forget, sometimes, that it's something pretty major.

I'm glad you called. I saw so much of what was in your heart, laid out in front of me. I realised how little I actually knew about you before diving in. You've seen such horrid, terrible things. Dealt with things that most people would be crushed under.

Now I see why I had such a hard time trying to get you to smile.

[It was out of reflex, but Takame began to shrink into himself.]

I apologize for speaking out of turn. Even had I not witnessed what happened to your arm myself, I'd still be concerned that it was gone.

[There's a kinship here, Takame felt. He wouldn't begin to assume anything of Vash's past, he was not a man to pry, but there was clearly more to him than the surface level. His words, his ability, the fact that his arm was a prosthetic in the first place. All of it was evidence towards the fact Vash may have seen his own fair share of horrors.]

It was only in recent years that I began to consider... that what I've seen would break a normal person to pieces. [Fordola asking him how he continued to stand tall after everything he saw came to mind and made his chest hurt.]

You don't need to apologise, not for that. It's obvious someone would be worried about this, I'm just... not really used to it, you know? [ no, he wouldn't know.

...Breathe out a bit. He's not used to being honest, Takame, so this is a struggle. But. The lizardlike man was right--he's seen horrors that made him understand why takame felt the way he did. ]

It's a lot.
I've ...lived a really long time, Takame. And while my life hasn't been easy, the things I saw in that place that was 'you' made me feel that you've seen things in your life that noone--noone should have to suffer in such a short time.

Yet, when I first met you, despite how quiet and subdued you seemed, you were still well-adjusted. Kind. Anyone else might be cold, callous. Cruel, untrusting.
[ his eyes flash, a moment. A glance at a photo that hangs on his wall, then back. ]

So betrayed by those who aimed to see you ruined that you became that... shadow who attacked us.

But you didn't.

You're you. Who you are today, someone who I... so desperately want to know more about. You're a pure example of everything that I... really love about humans. The ability to keep going, despite how much shrapnel is in your heart.

... That is the most unfortunate circumstance of all. [The fact that Vash, as good of a man as he was, wasn't used to people being concerned about him. It made Takame's heart ache. He was well aware of the cruel indifference of people, subscribed to it on most days, but if anyone deserved to be an exception to that rule it was Vash.

Takame's expression, while always relatively neutral, descended into deeper sadness the more Vash spoke about him. How could someone like him be what Vash adored in people? He didn't deserve such high praise at all. And yet it's still being said despite him seeing the horrible things Takame went through and even did to him, albeit indirectly.

It's been decades since he was able to cry. But this experience and the undeserved loving treatment he's received made that familiar stinging return to his eyes once more. Not a single tear fell, only the echo of a feeling. He briefly wondered if Hina would be proud of how far he's come? It was only thanks to her she was like this after all. Kind to others like she was to this day for her fallen country.

Takame was silent for a long while, trying to let Vash's words sink in. He had so much to think about between what everyone's said to him. Certainly, there were alarming key notes among the things Vash said, "lived a long time", "everything he loves about humans". But Takame, ever a man respectful of privacy only had one thing to say in lieu of getting into Vash's business.]

Someone like you is who I strive to be. You are a good man, Vash.

I wanna respond and tell you it's fine, but. You'll just scold me again. [ he's back to whining. ] Will it make you feel better if I say it's just because I don't really stay anywhere long back home? 'Vash the Stampede' is a bit of a joke--I'm always running around back home. Not really staying long enough to make friends. People tend to get uncomfortable around you when decades pass and you don't get any older.

[ he's learnt so much about takame, he'll let him have this one thing. he isn't ready to explain what he is, but. this, this is enough, for now, he figures. takame is his friend. friends he's not used to having--friends he so desperately wants. danger always followed at his heels, friends he made would always come to meet their deaths in ways that were his fault--he couldn't do it. here, though--here it was different. he could stop, meet people like Takame, like Jun--like Zulius and Caesar... they were all so strong, and he didn't have to be worried that if he got close, they'd be in danger. It's... a good feeling.
His eyes are focused on his friend for a moment as the man's eyes glaze a little--and he finds himself smiling again. Even if the man looks sad. He has to think about it, before he nods his head, once. ]

Heh, it makes my heart light to hear that. That you wanna be like me.

...So, can I make one selfish request of you, before I get too embarrassed to continue this call?

It would explain things, certainly. It is no less regretful that you aren't used to others worrying about you. More so that your circumstances, whatever they may be, make it so hard to make friends.

[Again, he isn't going to pry. Vash was older than he looked, probably considerably so. That was all Takame needed to know. If he was comfortable sharing at some point, he would be honored to be trusted. If not, he was glad to just know someone like Vash.

A true inspiration in his eyes, much like G'raha was to him. He tilted his head lightly at the request.]

Of course. What is it?

It's why I ... love it here. I know I'll one day have to go home. But if I could stay in this world for a while. I'd be content. Just to have been able to stay somewhere, call somewhere home.

[ but then he's shifting.
Moving to sit so he's facing the camera more fully, giving the fingers of his still-attached hand a wiggle. ]

If you wanna make it so we can call it even on the arm thing...

...One smile.

One smile, and we'll call it at that.

[One day they will have to go home... that harsh reality threatened to consume Takame in an already dark moment.

He forced himself to remain in the delusion for now. Until that day...

It's the nature of Vash's request that brings him back to the present. A somewhat surprised expression comes to him.]

A... surely that cannot be all you--?

[... Perhaps it was, though. Vash seemed like the type to make such a small request in return for something major. Something about Vash's request brought back to mind Haurchefant and his last words.

The memory was painful, not something Takame would ever smile about. It was one of his worst spirals. But there were good times shared.

A warm hearth, warm hearts. Between him, the Scions, his friends in Kaisou, his newfound love. It was thinking of them that he managed... a small smile.

A weak smile, tired much like his body. A smile beaten hard into the ground that still managed to shine through with the tiniest light.]

[ ...it's small, but it's there. he can see it. he expected for takame to maybe say he couldn't, after asking if that's really all he wanted. but.

vash puts his chin against the table as he takes the moment to grin at the other. Raising his hand up to make a peace sign--crossing it over in the middle after a moment to make a heart shape at the top. ]

There we are. Goal achieved.

Get some rest, okay? Promise I will, too.
Let's talk again soon, Takame.

[The gesture was somewhat unfamiliar to him, but he'd seen it in passing searches as positive and earnest. How fitting for the man Vash was. He gave a nod, a softness in his tone coming through his exhaustion.]

Mm. I would like that. Rest well.

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1/2

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1/2 can play at that game!!!

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my heart hurts

this is your doing!!