doubledollar | IC INBOX

Hey Sweetie. I know you've been going through it and I ALSO know you're gonna pretend you're okay instead of actually talking about it. Which, pot kettle black I KNOW, but this was A LOT.

Please just respond to a lil' check up? Don't make me come chase you.

[ he's gotten a few texts, but after his nearly 2-year stay in Kaisou, he's learned and knows better than to leave anyone on read; much less someone like Zulius.
If he doesn't answer certain people, they'll just show up at his door anyway. People with teleportation powers are scary. ]

u dont have 2 come chase me im not gonna go very far
im just at the cottage

im not sure i have the energy in me 2 pretend everythings ok either
not this time
i messed up
and i messed up bad

[He is smart and wise this day, not chancing his luck!]

...Okay I am super worried about you.

I'm coming. I'll bring donuts. Gimmie like, fifteen minutes. My love and affection in this time is not optional.

[Because that's... yeah that's really worrying. If Vash is saying he can't pretend he's fine? Things are REAL bad.

As promised, it only takes him enough time to teleport to a donut place, grab some bribery fodder and then teleport to the cottage. He'll be nice and knock on the door from the outside, but Vash knows he can just teleport inside if he doesn't answer. Best accept your love and support, beanpole man. ]

[ Zulius was the first person he'd met inside the city. The guy didn't even KNOW him and he'd let him sleep on his couch for a few days until he'd gotten settled with the Garden he currently calls his home. He KNOWS the others' love and affection aren't optional; if there's one person he can trust in the most who originally came from this world? it'd be zulius. because of course it would be.

and yet as he sits here, in the little vine and flower covered bench he'd built behind the cottage, he holds his phone and wills himself, desperately, not to type in the words 'but i don't deserve it this time'.

instead, he merely leaves the message on [ Read ✔✔ ] and quietly pockets his phone.
He won't move from that bench, and he won't run away. He's tired of running, fortunately. So that's where Zulius will find him when he shows up at the homely little garden. Vash looking up at him from where he's sitting with a smile that takes more effort than he wants to admit. ]

--You really didn't have to rush. I promise, I won't be running away. ...I'm sorry. You came all this way, I'm not trying to be rude.

[And Zulius will always be there for him, whenever he needed it and especially when he thought he didn't need it. And if Vash felt he didn't deserve it? Forget about it, Zulius was there with bells on.

Zulius comes trotting over, a donut box in his hands and a worried expression on his face. He rolls his eyes skyward, putting the box of treats beside his friend on the bench before pulling him into a tight hug - he has to yank Vash down a lot to make it work, even sitting down he's considerably taller than Zulius is, but he doesn't care. He's getting hugged and he's getting hugged tight. ]

Don't be stupid. You're not being rude. Being rude is not inviting me to a party. You're being freaking traumatised and that's different. Don't you dare apologise for being traumatised.

[ that's a whole seven feet of man you're manhandling--and yet he feels like a bundle of dry twigs when he's pulled up anyway. all angles and weirdly light--he leans in to the hug though, instead of just limply hanging there. Maybe he needed it. Maybe this is what he needed--even if the echoing remainder of the haunting's voice in his ears tells him it really isn't what he deserves. ]

It was bad. [ he finally admits--being unable to argue the point zulius was making because it was true. It was entirely true--and it's why Wolfwood was doing so much better than he was. ] You..

You went through this last year, didn't you? Whatever did this. I... was it the same power at work?

So many people died.

[Zulius doesn't care, Vash needs a hug and by god he is getting one, even if Zulius has to fold him in half in the process! He would fight anything or anyone who'd dare suggest that Vash didn't deserve the comfort- up to and including Vash himself.

He rubs his friend's back in gentle circles. ]

I sure did. It was... yeah pretty high on the trauma scale. I don't talk about it for a reason. But I think so, yeah. I didn't know any of you guys were gone and I so would have. Sure sucks being on this end of things, but not half as much as it is living that mess.

[He gives Vash a lil' squeeze.]

You wanna talk about it? I'll listen.

[ he needs the hug
he needs it, so, so desperately and he'll hold onto it even when his brain screams things like he doesn't deserve it or he shouldn't be getting close to others. selfish and greedy of him, he might feel, but. here he is, holding onto his oldest friend in the city like a goddamn parasite.

talking about it... can he do that? yes. but will it make him feel better? he's not sure.

he takes in a deep breath. it's shaky as hell. ]

I lost him again.
I had to watch Wolfwood die again.
And just like last time. I couldn't do a thing to stop it.
I was completely powerless.

[Zulius would not entertain such thoughts at all - those are the sort of thoughts that gets a person smacked gently but lovingly upside the head. He doesn't consider this parasitic in the least. One of his best friends needs him and like hell is he going to ignore that.

So he'll keep patting Vash's back gently. Giving him all the comfort he needs and more. ]

Oh, honey. I'm so, so sorry. That must have been so hard. But you do know that's not your fault, right? I know it's easier said than believed, but you for suresies can't save people in that... mess. The whole thing is like a sick game designed to kill people. The odds were completely stacked against you, and that's not your fault.

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